Dear Kristen Gwynne:

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Thank you so much.  Seriously.

Dennis E. Florianby Dennis E. Florian
Gun Owners’ Resource

I simply cannot telly you how much smarter I am after reading Kristen’s Rolling Stone article, The 5 Most Dangerous Guns in America.  No, really, I’m not being sarcastic (for once).  You see, if it weren’t for that lovely article, I probably would never have fully realized just how God damned dumb gun grabbers think the rest of us are.

On the off chance that you haven’t heard — although if you’re on this site you probably have — Kristen’s Five Most Dangerous Guns In America® are:

  1. Pistols
  2. Revolvers
  3. Rifles
  4. Shotguns and
  5. Derringers

Derringers.  Wait, what?

Wow.  Just… wow.  Now, anyone who visits this site knows that I don’t have a very high opinion of gun grabbers and I know they don’t think very highly of me — or anyone else who wants to get in the way of their malignant notions, for that matter.  Until now though, I didn’t quite understand the sheer depth of their conceit towards not only those who actively disagree with them but also, it seems, for everyone else.

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You know you’ve screwed up when even your regular readers think you’ve just dropped a clanger on the rug.  Of the 5938 comments so far, I didn’t see a one that wasn’t like these:

sludog: The ignorance is strong in this one. Making a list of almost all types of firearms available is supposed to represent the most dangerous?? What a f’n idiot.
NormThis woman should stop calling herself a “journalist”. She’s a pothead who types out indecipherable strings of words. Perhaps bongo player or fry cook would suit her talents better? I’m so embarrassed for you.
KateA gun is responsible for a crime like a keyboard is responsible for the worst article ever written.
Doctor CreosoteShe didn’t list machine guns, so I guess that’s what I’ll get so I can be safe with my guns.

And those are just the nicer ones.  The top responses seem to include “the ignorance is strong in this one” and lists with “derringer” at the bottom of each one.

Brian Lilley wasn’t much impressed either.

While we’re at it, here’s some other 5’s you probably should be warned about.  You know, before they kill you.  Somehow.

5 most dangerous oceans:

  1. Atlantic
  2. Pacific
  3. Indian
  4. Arctic
  5. Southern
5 most dangerous vehicles on the road:

  1. Cars
  2. Trucks
  3. Motorcycles
  4. Scooters
  5. Trikes
5 most dangerous positions in basketball:

  1. center
  2. point guard
  3. shooting guard
  4. power forward
  5. small forward
5 most dangerous ways to die:

  1. Violence
  2. Illness
  3. Accidents
  4. Hunger
  5. Age
5 most dangerous Marx brothers:

  1. Groucho
  2. Chico
  3. Harpo
  4. Zeppo
  5. Karl
5 most dangerous time zones in the United States:

  1. Eastern
  2. Central
  3. Mountain
  4. Pacific
  5. Hawaiian-Aleutian
5 most dangerous foods:

  1. fruits
  2. vegetables
  3. meat
  4. dairy
  5. grains
5 most dangerous pathogens known to science:

  1. Bacteria
  2. Viruses
  3. Prions
  4. Fungi
  5. Protozoa
5 most dangerous weekdays:

  1. Monday
  2. Tuesday
  3. Wednesday
  4. Thursday
  5. Friday
5 most dangerous parties in Parliament:

  1. Bloc Quebecois
  2. Conservative
  3. Green
  4. Liberal
  5. NDP
 5 most dangerous vowels:

  1. A
  2. E
  3. I
  4. O
  5. U
 5 most dangerous great lakes:

  1. Huron
  2. Ontario
  3. Michigan
  4. Erie
  5. Superior

Did I miss anything?  Let me know.

 


Dennis E. FlorianWhile his stuff does get syndicated every now and then, Dennis E. Florian only writes for Gun Owners’ Resource — which is probably just as well, because he isn’t all that good.

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